Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
only you would photoshop your dick
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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