Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
