giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
