i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
