fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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