I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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