I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
