I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
