the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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