THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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