sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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