; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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