Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
