is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
