I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
