It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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