how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
