My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
