haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
