i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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