My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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