Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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