I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize