I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you will always have a special place in my vag
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
