so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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