I want to have your abortion
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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