How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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