He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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