I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
