How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
