I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
