VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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