is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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