Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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