marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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