this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
