I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
