I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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