omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
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I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
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I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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