Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
