you guys were way drunker than both of me
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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