i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
