You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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