so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
