So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
