He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
