Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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