A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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