I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
