No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
