You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
