what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
