i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just blew my weed a kiss
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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