I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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