My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
