Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
MIDGETS
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Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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