oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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